Artemis Fowl Whats It About

Lisa Scottoline reviews 'Plugged,' by Eoin Colfer

That’s a good thing. Because now he’s produced a bang-up crime novel for adults.

“Plugged” is the story of a few manic days in the life of Daniel McEvoy, an Irish bouncer at the seedy Slotz casino in New Jersey. McEvoy is a bighearted if unsentimental man, a loner who’s meeting middle age with wisecracks and hair plugs. Like any great fictional character, he is what he does, and the first thing he does in the novel is rescue single mom Connie, his favorite exotic dancer, from the roving tongue of a low-rent lawyer. A fight ensues, threats are exchanged, and a few days later, poor Connie turns up murdered, with Daniel a suspect.

He sets out to find her killer and begins to suspect that the same person might have killed his missing best friend, a wacky doctor named Zeb Kronksi. Along the way, he kills a few people and gets shot at by a few more, including Irish mobsters, crooked cops, a sex-crazed housewife and a gang of steroid sellers — a picaresque of sleaze. The pace of the novel never lets up, and considering that it’s only 254 pages long, it seems to run a knife fight, gun battle or one-liner in a continuous loop.

This might lead you to think you’re in Elmore Leonard , Carl Hiaasen or even Damon Runyon country, but you’re not. Although there are echoes of all three writers in “Plugged,” Colfer’s novel is dominated, driven and fully animated by a refreshingly original voice.

And it isn’t funny.

At least not funny ha-ha.

For example, Daniel served with the Irish army in “the Lebanon,” and memories of exploding mines and battlefield injuries haunt him. He carries shrapnel in his back from a time he rescued his fallen comrades, despite the fact that his superiors didn’t order any covering fire. After the war, he went home “to a zero’s welcome,” and now he takes tranquilizers washed down with Jameson to sleep. Still, he never permits himself to complain: “Little moments like this, I can’t help thinking of patrols in Tibnin. I try to avoid the whole flashback thing when I’ve got stuff to do, but some moments are more evocative than others. Some moments are fat with menace. For some reason, this is one of those moments.

A Fowl Musical | Artemis Fowl FanGathering

This is a musical. Do you know what that is? I hope you do because this is what it is about, kinda. I love musicals!!! So here it goes……

It was a normal day in Fowl Manor. With Butler patrolling the grounds and Mr. and Mrs. Fowl out with the twins it was very calm, but there was a strange feeling in the air.

Artemis Fowl sat at his desk in his study. Nothing. Nothing he could do that day, the computers were down. Same thing with his Ipod which of course always held classical music on it. He taped his fingers on the desk and his head lay on his other hand. “I guess I’m Bord if I feel like this.” He thought to himself.

He got up and walked over to the window. Butler was still looking around outback. “Maybe I should follow him?” Butler walked back inside the Manor. “No, no that’s not a good idea. What am I five years old and following someone like a dog.”

Artemis walked out of the room. The sound of the old wooden floorboards creaking as he walked. Down the stairs, then around the corner into one of the main hallways. He started to hum to “Single Ladies” by Beyonce. The hum turned to words, Artemis Fowl was now singing while a strange background music played.

~♪~♪~♪~

Butler the loyal bodyguard to the teenage Fowl walked back into the Manor. He was almost done with his daily patrolling. A slight humming sound filled the air, then it turned to words, to full out singing with music. “What the heck is going on up there?” Butler thought as he started to walk up the stairs.”Who is killing a cat? Or is that Artemis singing?”

He walked down the long hallway and took a left, then a right and another left. There stood Artemis Fowl the seconded dancing by waving his hands in the air with his back turned to him. The singing was terrible, but it made Butler do a slight smile and small laugh. The manservant cleared his thoughts and stated to speak.

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